Listeners Actually Like Groan-Inducing Puns

The top 20 worst dad jokes... as scientists claim listeners who hear groan-inducing puns are actually GRATEFUL for the gags - but do you agree?

• Emitting a 'groan' to a pun is 'indicative of approval', a study in the US has found
• Researchers asked 300 people the type of jokes they liked to give and receive
• Puns and observational comedy topped the receiving list, surprising researchers

We've all rolled our eyes or shook our heads at a pun-filled 'dad joke', but the truth is we secretly love them, a study has suggested. 

In fact emitting a 'groan' is not a negative response, but 'indicative of approval', surprised researchers discovered. 

The study at Northern Illinois University in the US probed nearly 300 people on their preferred style of jokes - both to give and receive - while also asking each respondent to take a personality test. 

It had hoped to discover whether those who 'punished' their friends and loved ones with a groan-worthy play on words were 'everyday sadists'. 

Stand-up comedian Jimmy Carr (pictured) is famed for his hilarious 'punny' one-liners

Emitting a 'groan' after a pun is not a negative response, but 'indicative of approval', surprised researchers discovered (Pictured: Pun-loving jokester Milton Jones) 

Five classic Jimmy Carr one-liners (not for the easily offended)

• 'I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.'
•  'Say what you want about the deaf…'
• 'I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign, ''This door is alarmed''. I said to myself, ''How do you think I feel?'''
• 'The first few weeks of Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.'
• 'British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray.' 

But according to the results, pun-tellers were not sadistic, and receivers were actually grateful, as puns were among the most popular jokes to hear.

It's punderful news for comedians such as Jimmy Carr, Milton Jones or Tim Vine, who are all known for their hilarious one-liners.

It's bad news for their US-based countryman and political pun-dit John Oliver, however, who once branded them 'not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behaviour.'

Samuel Johnson, author of the 1755 Dictionary of the English Language, also had a scathing review of the wordplay, once famously writing: 'To trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence... He who would violate the sanctities of his Mother Tongue would invade the recesses of the paternal till without remorse.'

They are part of a long list of naysayers who have openly declared their disdain for the style of joke. 

'We had many sources denouncing puns as bastards of language and derailers of conversation, so we assumed punsters could cause aggravation much like internet trolls,' author of the recent study Cody Gibson, of Northern Illinois University told the Times. 

It's punderful news for comedians such as Jimmy Carr, Milton Jones or Tim Vine (pictured), who are all known for their hilarious one-liners

'We were shocked to find people liked puns to the extent they did...Out of almost ten types of jokes, puns and observational jokes were the most enjoyed.' 

He added: 'I'm not sure I've ever seen a pun receive a reaction stronger than a chuckle, but maybe that suggests more about me than puns... We would like to propose puns are told for, not despite, pained reactions.'

He said he hoped puns become more appreciated and used by more people, as it's 'unfair to limit puns to just dads'. 

Pun-intentionally sadistic: is punning a manifestation of everyday sadism?, was published in Personality and Individual Differences, an Elsevier journal.

Worst offenders: 20 punny 'dad jokes' guaranteed to elicit groans and shaking heads

1. Elevators terrify me... I'm taking steps to avoid them. 
2.  I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards', and I thought... 'That's just spam...'
3. What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
4. Me and my friends put a band together, we named it 999 megabytes. Still don't have a gig though.
5. I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. The odds were against me.
6. I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda. It was a Fanta Sea.
7. Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the ICU.
8. In college I was so broke I couldn't afford the electricity bill. Those were the darkest days of my life.
9. I went to the Doctor with hearing problems. He said 'Can you describe the symptoms?' I said: 'Homer's a fat dude and Marge has blue hair.'
10. I said to my wife: 'When I die I'd like to die having sex.' She replied: 'At least it'll be quick.'
11. I've decided I want a pet termite. I'm going to call him Clint. Clint Eatswood.
12. So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
13. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10-tickles.
14. 'Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?' No sun.
15. I figured out why Teslas are so expensive. It's because they charge a lot.
16. Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed? Everybody.
17. My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns. Well, toucan play at that game.
18. Did you hear about the new Origami Porn channel? It's paper view only.
19. I was really angry when I ran into my friend Mark who stole my dictionary. I said, 'Mark, my words!'
20. I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.

Courtesy of @dadsaysjokes on Twitter.  

Elon Musk Releases Twitter’s Internal Convos on Hunter Biden Laptop Censorship

 

Source: https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2022/12/02/everyone-knew-this-was-fcked-elon-musk-releases-twitters-internal-convos-on-hunter-biden-laptop-censorship/

Elon Musk’s Twitter released internal discussions about censoring the Hunter Biden laptop story Friday night via journalist Matt Taibbi.

The documents reveal widespread internal and external concern at the suppression of the story, a decision made without CEO Jack Dorsey’s knowledge and spearheaded by Vijaya Gadde, then the head of Trust & Safety — Twitter’s top censor. The thread is ongoing at the time of this writing and can be found here:

The documents, mostly internal communications from Twitter and emails with external parties, showed widespread unease with the decision and concerns about how it could be explained to lawmakers and the public.

Several key points from the thread so far:

• The decision to censor the Hunter Biden laptop story was made without the knowledge of CEO Jack Dorsey

• Trust & Safety chief Vijaya Gadde, long believed to be the driving force of censorship at the company, spearheaded the decision.
• Numerous top Twitter employees, especially from the communications and policy teams — whose job is to maintain relations with lawmakers and the press — expressed concern at the decision.
• Immediate warnings from Twitter’s Washington D.C. contacts followed, including an email from Democrat representative Ro Khanna (D-CA) who warned the decision had generated “huge backlash” on capitol hill, and expressed concerns about Twitter undermining the freedom to publish.

Aside from Rep. Khanna’s communications, which imagined a future in which newspapers would be unable to publish hacked evidence of war crimes, other Democrats reportedly complained that Twitter had not gone far enough in its censorship of the press.

“Khanna was the only Democratic official I could find in the files who expressed concern,” said Taibbi.

An email from Carl Szabo, one of the tech industry’s top lobbyists in D.C., told Twitter that Democrat lawmakers he spoke to in the aftermath of the decision all believed “social media needs to moderate more,” and complained that the Hunter Biden story had been allowed to travel as far as it did.

Szabo summarized the concerns of Democrats: “They let conservatives muddy the water and claim the Biden campaign look corrupt even though Biden is innocent.”

When pushed on how government might legally press social media companies to censor, Democrat lawmakers reportedly said “the First Amendment isn’t absolute.”

This lines up with what Democrats attempted to do after Biden took office: use the power of the federal government to force more censorship on social media, including the infamous “disinformation governance board” of DHS. The Biden administration is now facing lawsuits from Republican attorneys general arguing it used its power to undermine the First Amendment.

In Congress, Democrats are still trying to pass the Journalism Competition and Preservation Act (JCPA), a bill that would create a cartel of largely pro-censorship media companies with the power to impose arbitration agreements on tech companies.

Democrats, with the surprising backing of some Republicans, are now trying to force the bill through in a defense spending package, even as conservative senators warn it will increase censorship and further bias social media platforms towards the legacy media.

According to a former Twitter employee who spoke to Taibbi, the decision was poorly thought through, saying “they just freelanced it.”

According to the employee, it wasn’t long before “everyone knew this was f***ed.”

Aussie Crime: Serial Climate Change Pest Blocks Sydney Bridge, Jailed for 8 Months

Climate change pest who blocked the Sydney Harbour Bridge is JAILED for her 'selfish and childish' stunt

A protester who blocked the Sydney Harbour Bridge in a protest over climate change has been sent to prison after a magistrate slammed her for her 'childish stunts' and 'selfish emotional' actions.

Magistrate Allison Hawkins sent Deanna 'Violet' Coco to prison for a minimum of eight months after she pleaded guilty to seven charges, including using an authorized explosive not as prescribed, possessing a bright light distress signal in a public place, and interfering with the safe operation of a bridge.

The 31-year-old sat at the front of the public gallery at Sydney's Downing Centre Local Court on Friday, wiping tears from her eyes as she held hands with her mother and another female supporter.

At 8.30am on April 13, Coco drove a large hire truck along the Cahill Expressway on the Sydney Harbour Bridge and purposefully blocked a lane during peak hour, the court was told.

 Deanna Coco arrived at Downing Centre Local Court with multiple supporters before she was sent to prison. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Nikki Short

While the truck was obstructing traffic, she stood on top of it, held a lit emergency flare and livestreamed the event.

After 25 minutes, police arrived and forcibly removed the protesters from the iconic Sydney landmark, with Coco resisting arrest.

The 31-year-old was arrested after blocking a lane on the Sydney Harbour Bridge

The defence told the court that Coco suffered from 'serious anxiety surrounding climate change' and her boyfriend had been arrested for a similar protest on a football field.

Ms Hawkins questioned the defence: 'Normal members of the community going to work and going about their ordinary business are not entitled to being disrupted because she´s in a high state of emotion.'

Ms Hawkins found there was an 'intended element of planning' in Coco´s offending.

'You stopped during peak-hour having obtained a flare and truck, and the banners and glue, to halt peak-hour traffic in the city at that particular time with the aim of gaining maximum exposure,' the magistrate said.

Coco was in a high state of emotion, the court was told. Picture: David Swift 

'You knew this was illegal, you knew you would be arrested and you knew there would be consequences.'

Ms Hawkins told Coco she let an 'entire city suffer' due to her 'emotional reaction' and failed to take into account the other people she affected.

She said the 31-year-old´s actions deserved condemnation from both the court and the community.

'You do damage to your cause when you do childish stunts like this. Why should they be disrupted by your selfish emotional actions?' Ms Hawkins said.

'You are not a political prisoner, you are a criminal.'

Coco was convicted and sentenced to 15 months imprisonment with a non-parole period of eight months.

She hugged her mother and friend before she was handcuffed and led out of the court by two corrective services officers.

The avid protester attempted to get bail pending an appeal. 

Ms Hawkins said the court did not jail people lightly and Coco´s offending was the 'higher end of the range'.

Bail was refused.

Coco is a serial protester and a member of climate activist groups such as Extinction Rebellion and Fireproof Australia.

She has been before the courts previously for rallying against a mining operation while topless and for setting fire to a pram outside Parliament House.